Love Never Fails

I was reading an online devotional today about taming the tongue. I have done whole studies on that subject, for obvious reasons. Controlling what comes out the mouth is incredibly important; however, since what comes out the mouth reflects what is in the heart, what is in the heart is of greater importance. My mouth reflects my heart.

That is exactly why words do hurt. That is exactly why unchecked comments leave scars. That is exactly why unwarranted criticism and self righteousness does the damage it does. I was talking with a friend the other day about how often in Christianity, especially in Independent circles, there is a focus on changing the outside without an equal emphasis on doing something about the inside. Granted man sees the outside, but God sees the inside. The thing is-the inside is always evidenced by the outside. It is something that can be hid or faked for a little while, but not forever.

I find myself in a familiar place, learning again, to tame my words, but in order to do that, I need to work on my heart and thought life. God calls us to love, not hate. Really hard to do that when there is fear. Love and fear don't go together. Real love, not what the world calls love, but real love as is evidenced in I Corinthians 13 does this: It is patient, It is kind, It does not envy, It is not proud, It is not rude, It doesn't seek to gratify itself, It doesn't think evil, It does not rejoice in iniquity, but in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. It never fails. Real love, agape, unconditional love, never fails.

I can't be something I am not. I can't fake emotions that are not there. I can't pretend like I am not hurt or not angry. I can cover it up for awhile, but it is still there, and eventually, it will bubble up to the service and come out my mouth. Being quiet is a start. Putting a guard on my mouth and bridling my tongue-that is a start, but even deeper-I need to seek God for a heart change, because when I really put my relationships to the "love test," I find that very few people love me like that, and I love very few people with that kind of love. Unconditional love expresses itself in pure grace. I don't deserve the grace God extends to me. I don't deserve His undying love. I don't deserve to be sharing in the family of God. I don't deserve His precious gifts. Nobody does, but His Love Never Fails, and knowing that gives me great peace!

A Heart's Call to Prayer

As I was sitting in the Randy Travis concert listening to the words of the songs by both him and the opening artist, I knew once again that God was calling my heart to prayer. I have mentioned that before, but somehow just can't seem to get to where I need to be going. I KNOW that prayer is the real work of God. It is the avenue by which God works. We want God to do great things; we want to see God's hand; we want to know it is God, but disciplining ourselves to pray is not that easy.

I am not talking about pray over meals, pray for a parking space, send up a prayer for someone who has a need right at that moment, pray while driving....not those kind of prayers. Those prayers are worthy and it is certainly communication with God, and definitely falls under the 'pray without ceasing' category, but that just isn't where my problem lies. I have that down, it is the laboring, wrestling in prayer for God to do mighty things down on my knees when there is no one there but Him and I.

Alot of my problem is "time." Not that I don't have 24 hours a day just like everyone else has, but arranging my life to fit in that prayer time is the challenge. I don't have many moments where something else isn't biding for my time. Weak, I know...because really when I analyze that, I know it is a priority issue. I am allowing something other than God to have my time. I am giving my time to activities, situations, etc...that are nothing but hay and stubble. They are worthless apart from God's plan in my life. Only what He does through me matters.

So...yesterday, Sooner, the cat, broke his leg somehow. He came hobbling in the house right about the time I had to get ready for work. This is only really significant because we were just at the vet last week. We took Carson in the week before that to get a shot and groomed. No issues there. The following week, we took Pedro in for the same thing. First, I thought he was only getting one shot, turns out, it was time for the annuals. Ok...dealt with that, then went to go pick him up, and found out he has heart worms. This is our second bout with heart worms in a year. Carson had them first, resulting in an expensive treatment, and testing of the other dogs who all came back clear. Pedro has been on heartworm preventive, and has had no symptoms. Not that I doubt the vet, because I don't, but it was a blow, and the vet could see we were not happy campers. At first I thought we were going to have to put him down, because putting him through the treatment just wasn't an option. The treatment alone could kill him, and he isn't as young as he used to be. He gave us another option-to switch to Heartguard which over a period of years would kill all the heart worms without killing him. Not a quick fix, but doable. Back to Sooner. Not even one week later, Sooner is now at the vet. He was kennelled over night and getting x-rays today. (Anyone else seeing dollar signs!?) I started wondering, did we pay our tithes, give to missions, miss something somewhere? This is ridiculous, and seriously, we are not made of money over here. (I have been regretting getting back into the animal business when we were down to just Pedro and the fish!)

Then it hit me...I was driving to work praying and wrestling with all of this. My frustration was escalating. WHAT IS THE DEAL? (I practically yelled) Just Sunday night, I told God, whatever it takes Lord, I KNOW you are calling me to be a prayer warrior, and that is the desire of my heart. I want to KNOW God and KNOW God is at work, not me. I want to KNOW that what I am seeing is the fruit of His Hand, not my efforts being played out. I am willing to pay the cost to get to that point in my life.

It was only the cat (and the dog) that He used to get my attention, but it could have been one of my children, or grandson, or Caitlyn. It could have been my husband. It could have been something of such greater value, yet, I needed a gentle reminder. Not one sparrow falls to the ground that God doesn't know about. He cares for each one. No prayer is too small or too big for Him. He just wants me to commit to living my life with Him at the center of it, seeking Him in prayer, and interceding on others' behalf! God...I am listening. Keep my heart tuned in to you!

Randy Travis Concert

I NEVER win anything...up until this week that is. My hubbie entered me into a drawing for 4 tickets to hear Randy Travis perform at one of the local churches here. I didn't even know he had entered me, so the win was that much sweeter. I found out Friday night that we had won. Then I started debating...4 tickets? Steve said he would watch Caitlyn if I wanted to make it a girls' night out, which is what we did. Sometimes something is so ordained by God that all I can do is stand in awe. This was one of those times. The opening musician gave testimony about her struggle with depression, and her songs were songs of deliverance and victory. We barely made it through that without tears. Then Randy Travis took the stage. He sang a mixture of songs, told a few jokes, shared his testimony, and sang again. At one point, I reached over and hugged Tonia, and asked her if we were going to make it through the night without tears-we didn't! One of the songs he sang I have never heard before but was so powerful. "Raise him up" I am going to look for it on youtube, but for the moment...back to his testimony-the Pastor presented a clear presentation of the gospel and provided opportunity for anyone present to accept the Lord. It was just sweet to not only be there, by without aqny previous effort on my part, and to be sharing that with three beautiful women. All of us needed to be there. All of us heard God's message in song...I found myself praying in my heart and seeking God's desire for my life and knowing His call on my life has been the same for quite some time, yet, I keep struggling to heed it. Lord, help me to not only hear, but to obey!

Window or Bug?

My sister (in Christ) and I have been doing alot of "communicating" this past month. She has been sharing what she is learning, and I realize more every day that we are learning the same thing. Two different people, two different lives, two very different circumnstances-yet the same lesson. How do I live my life according to God's plan for me and help those God has put in my path? How do I do both without compromising who I am in Christ? As Beth Moore puts it: "People can help us but they can't heal us. They can lift us but they can't carry us."

Beth Moore is using the story of Joseph and his brothers to illustrate this point. They lowered him into the pit-he is there not because of his choosing, and they also lift him out-but only to place him in bondage. If people are our savior than we live in bondage. No one person can be our deliverer. Hence, we can't be a deliverer, a savior, or the all in all in anyone's life. We need each other, but as a help to keep us pointed in the right direction and accountable. We can be Jesus' hands and feet without carrying what He is supposed to be carrying.

That is one of the areas I have struggled with. As the oldest in a dysfunctional family, I have been trying for years to keep it all together. Call when someone has an issue. Send cards. Go out of my way to be involved in their lives and the lives of their children. I have tried to "carry" a responsibility that wasn't soley mine, and I felt the weight of it-HEAVILY. I have also done that in my immediate family-feeling like the relationships were my responsibility to maintain. What could I be doing or not doing? The last time Tonia and I were together I was overwhelmed with what I was carrying. I felt used. I felt taken advantage of. I felt unappreciated. I felt like I had to keep it together-until those moments when I just couldn't.

Freedom in Christ is liberating. One of the conversations we have been having is whether we are the window or the bug. That phrase has seriously caught on and will certainly become one that defines our choices. Am I going to live my life in such a way that I spend it squashed, defeated, hindered and in pain? Am I going to compromise myself to meet someone else's demands on me? I have lived that way...in an attempt...to carry the weight of something that was God's responsibility, not mine. The irony of a life people centered instead of God centered is that the demands can never be met. There will always be someone who want you to be someone you can't be or want something you can't give. It is impossible to get victory that way. It is a never ending cycle. We are either loved and accepted where we are and love and accept others where they are or we live as the bug.

Today (confession: got behind last week and had to catch up these past two days on my 40 day-God allows us to start over every day. YAY!) the lesson was on "Impacting a Life in the Pit." She gives 5 areas we can impact:
1. Live by example so that others know it is possible to live in victory according to God's way.
2. Pray
3. Encourage
4. Direct them towards Jesus
5. As God allows, give counsel and advice.

The key in my own life is PRAY: pray that I am able to live the life God plans for me in such a way that I am impacting others. Pray for those who need God to intervene in their lives, for wisdom for them, and strength, open hearts to hear His Word and the change that needs to happen in their own hearts. Widsom in my own life to be an encourager and share His Word when He allows and directs me to do so. Prayer changes things in me and everyone else. It empowers. It also lays the burdens at Jesus' feet, taking them off of my shoulders!

"And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works..." Hebrews 10:24a
"But enxhort one another daily, while it is called today..." Hebrews 3:13a

Rejoicing in God's Provision

This weekend we v isited Berean Baptist Temple in Shreveport to hear one of our heroes preach. he preached from the story of Abraham sacrificing his only son Isaac and knowing the God that provides. Jehovah Jireh is probably one of my favorite names of God, and knowing that God does indeed provide, not just for our physical needs but our emotional and spiritual needs as well. God allows the trials in our lives. He is at work, and the work He is doing matters more than the pain we may be temporarily feeling.The Girlfriends in God devotion today reminded me that what God does He does for His good. Someone else may mean evil, but God is infinite love, and in His love for me, He is conforming me to His image!

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Monday, September 21, 2009 Forward to a Friend Free Newsletters Print


September 21, 2009


The Promises of Problems


Mary Southerland

Today's Truth


"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good." Genesis 50:20






Friend to Friend


If you are like me, you prefer days when the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and not a cloud in sight. Problems tend to irritate me because they make me realize just how frail I am as a human. But I have come to realize that every problem points to a promise.


Promise of direction


God uses problems to show us the way. We would walk through the wrong door if He didn't close it. Years ago, I dated a young man I thought I would marry. We had it all worked out. He was a preacher and I played the piano and sang. What could be more perfect? I began to pray, "Lord, if he is not the one, just close the door!" The very next conversation I had with this young man ended our relationship and resulted in my taking a church staff position that led me to Dan Southerland. I look back and thank God for that closed door.


"Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways." Proverbs 20:30


Promise of correction


God uses problems to correct us. I have come to realize that some lessons can only be learned in the darkness, through pain and failure. When our daughter was a toddler, she was fascinated with electrical outlets. Nothing we said or did seemed to deter her...until the day she stuck a safety pin in the outlet. "Ouch!" she cried, holding up her little red finger for me to kiss. She never played with an outlet again.


"It was the best thing that could have happened to me, for it taught me to pay attention to your laws." Psalm 119:71-72

Promise of protection


A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it keeps you from being hurt by something more serious. It was so hard for me to take our children to the doctor to get immunization shots. I would take a healthy child into the doctor's office and come out with a little one who was fussy, sore and running a low grade temperature. Our pediatrician finally said, "Mary, just think of it like this. You are allowing your babies to experience a little hurt in order to prevent them from experiencing a bigger hurt. A tetanus shot is nothing compared to tetanus itself.


"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good." Genesis 50:20


Promise of perfection


Problems, when responded to correctly, are character builders. I recently spoke for a women's conference that used the theme of "Problems into Pearls". Strands of pearls were everywhere - the center of each table, on the podium from which I spoke, draped across tables - and many of the ladies wore pearls that day. When the worship leader welcomed me, she said, "We have to get you some pearls!" Digging in her purse, she produced the most beautiful pearl necklace and placed it around my neck. As the day went on, I spoke several times, counseled and prayed with numerous women and tried to meet as many women as possible. When everyone had left, the woman came to retrieve her pearl necklace. I was embarrassed. I had worked up quite a sweat with all of that hugging, laughing, talking. She brushed my apology aside and said, "Sweat is good for pearls. It helps them keep their luster."


"We can rejoice when we run into problems... they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady." Romans 5:3-4

God is at work in and around you. You may not see His hand, hear His voice or even understand His process, but you can rest assured that you can trust His heart. Remember, every problem points to a promise.

The Importance of My Thought Life

I am on day 15 (almost half way through my 40 days) and still with it! The thought that hit me today was the importance of our thought life and how we have to learn to do well. It just doesn't come naturally. Every once in awhile, out of the blue, usually at very odd times, some wierd thought or memory steals its way to the front of my brain. I know the thought itself isn't sin, it could be if allowed to take root and turn into action. Knowing that, however, doesn't alleviate the weirdness I feel when those thoughts are there. I am learning to instantly turn those over to Christ. He knows where those thoughts originate, and He alone can cleanse my mind through a continual focus on Him and His Word. I NEED His Word to cover my life and permeate my thoughts.

Speaking of...since we flooded last year, the radio has been going almost 24/7 on KLOVE. It is a national contemporary Christian radio station, and it has so impacted us. It is on in our vehicles as well, so you go from one place to another hearing Christian music and messages and prayers and verses and testimonies. It is powerful to say the least.

There were so many Scriptures in my devotion today. I usually look those up myself and read around them to get the context. In Isaiah 1:16-20, God is exhorting the Israelites to wash themselves, to put away evil from them, to learn to do well and seek judgment. In 19-20 He says, "If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land: But if ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be dvoured with the sword: for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it." I read that in relationship to the Lord speaking to my heart, directing my path, and the many times I refuse to listen. Not always a full refusal, but sometimes, I can't distinguish the voices, and not sure who is speaking so I do what I want instead. Rebellion against the Lord is still destructive and still sin. It destroys hearts and lives. Therein lies the choice, to be willing and obedient, not hardening my heart against what God is showing me, or to rebel? That choice is made in my heart and mind. I think about it, ponder it, and decide. Back to: I NEED God and His Word. Without Him, I can't begin to choose right. I can't learn to do well. I can't put away evil. My thought life-working on that with the help of Christian music, prayer, and God's Word...it is important...going to heed.

PS...this blog is about to undergo a facelift...a much needed one too...so the let the construction begin....

Still Learning...Still Thankful God is Clearing...

When I started this blog, God was doing a work in me. I often forget that God's timing is not our own, and when He starts something, He does finish it. However, could take a minute. It has certainly been a minute! I grew up in an abusive home. When you live like that, you don't realize its impact on you-it is just what it is. Years later, I was sitting in a parenting conference while my husband and I were stationed in Spain. We were at the end of the conference, and there was a Chapman song being played that was about the role of a father in a daughter's life. That last bit was all about how dad's impact daughters, and how the lack of a dad "figure" plays a devastating role in establishing a girl's security and identity. It hit me then how true that rang in my own life. My own dad was MIA and the dad I knew was abusive. There was no real dad, and suddenly the pain was more than I could bear. I broke into hysterics.

Fast forward a few more years, and we are back in the states, stationed in Louisiana. We are closer to family now and making an effort to spend some time with them. I thought I had dealt with those issues, but every time I went home (either my mom's or my dad's) I was flooded with emotion again. I would either cry myself to sleep while my very patient husband held me, or I would just have to go somewhere where I could get a grip. I never really dealt with any of it, I just ran away from it. The thing is, I didn't know I hadn't dealt with it. I was saved. I knew truth, but knowing didn't erase the memory, the impact, or the pain of my childhood. It wasn't until my step-father lay dying, family gathered around, me in the car on the way-a trip that takes about 9 hours by car. Every step of that journey, God was healing my heart and bringing about forgiveness so that I could win him to Christ before his time was up. I tried to witness to him before, but my heart harbored so much bitterness that I couldn't witness. Can't witness without love. Have to be able to love first. There I was with the very last opportunity I would ever have to tell this man that Jesus loves him, and I was hyperventilating. I could not breathe. I literally had to pull over at a Wal-Mart right down the street from my parents’ house and pray with my husband so I could go forward. Somewhere in that 9 hours, God gave me forgiveness and love for him. I walked in with nothing but love in my eyes.

I have experienced forgiveness. I have experienced real love. Both are priceless.

To get either though, I have to learn to deal with life and the situations that arise. I find that just hasn't been my mo. I am hurt, criticized, attacked, and could go on and on and on....but instead of saying "NO," I take it, I lay down. I curl up by myself and cry. I vent to my husband who encourages me. I sometimes lose it and explode because it has bubbled up and bubbled up. Losing it is not the solution. Allowing it to fester is not positive, but saying No is. No, I am not going to take responsibility for that. No, that has nothing to do with me. No, that was your choice, not mine. No, I am unable to do that. No, there are more important things in my life right now. No, you don't have the right to ______ (fill int he blank).

Setting up those boundaries, not allowing myself to be used and compromised, learning to express myself and deal with where I am are all tools I need to learn and utilize in order to grow as a person. I am who I am by the grace of God, and I don't have to be what anyone else expects or wants me to be.

The Beth Moore question today: What do I want? Hmmm....that is a tough one.

I want to make a difference. I live my life in an attempt to make a difference in lives. Sometimes I am rejected. Sometimes I am attacked or rejected, but...why would I expect anything different. Christ came to lay His life down for us, yet He is continually rejected. What I have gone through in my lifetime is so small compared to what Christ has given to me. I want to live my life for Christ. I want to follow His plan for me and in the end stand before Him just to hear, "well done."



He is still clearing the clutter out of my life. I am still learning....