Stepping into....

I have spent so much of my life trying to figure out what I am going to do with my life. Goodness, I need to make up my mind!

Wonder if that is a result of getting married at 17 and having all of my children by the time I was 24, the age others are generally just getting started on their families. Here I am at my present age (not exactly young anymore) working on my masters, watching other teacher's manage their classrooms, researching and writing....still trying to weigh exactly what I am going to do.

The MAT doesn't give me any room for mind changing. It is specific. I KNOW I am getting a MAT in Secondary Math...decision made, but then what?

I just started my classroom observations this week. I was so nervous especially about the first one. I was going into an inner city high school with a not so pleasant reputation. I got there, checked in, and the VP told me she would get me a security escort to the room. Hmmm...had to smile at that. Turns out that the principal escorted me. I spent a few hours watching a brand new teacher teach in this less than ideal situation. I was quite impressed with him. He had no textbooks, no administrative support, and no parental support, but he was plugging away. The lesson he taught was completely compiled on his own. Not bad. My next observation was today at a prime middle school. It was a school with all that the first one didn't have. The teacher I observed today had books, had a little more experience, a much larger class, but not a very positive approach towards education.

I have listened to teachers chatting about perfect teaching jobs, where they want to go, who knows who, where openings might be...all that kind of thing. I sit and listen to the rhetoric, and I wonder what about me? I want to be in a place that I can make a difference, where is that, I don't know, but I found myself more excited about being in the inner city school then being in the fully supported middle school. Hmmm....just thinking...what is, what has God been preparing me to do? Where do all these roads lead? When and where do I step out?