Haven't Arrived

"Sometimes life's concerns can deafen our spiritual "ears." Before reading Scripture, ask God to help you hear and understand what He's saying. As you believe and obey, your spiritual hearing will become more acute, and your time in the Word will be an intimate conversation with the Lord. "

July 24, 2009The Living Word Hebrews 4:12-13
In Touch with Charles Stanley

How God speaks right where we are at never ceases to amaze me. I breeze through all these online devotions more than I read and consider them, especially lately. I was so tired yesterday and so overwhelmed that I sat down to read my Bible and not a word was sticking. All I could do was tell God how overwhelmed I was. I had no idea how I was going to make it through the day ahead of me....actually I am pretty amazed I made it to Friday, because the week wasn't looking to positive on Monday.

Went to the prison ministry yesterday after a very stressful morning, trying to organize ministry stuff and get all my homework done for class that night. I was looking at a very full day! I was tired before I ever got to the ministry and concerned about a situation that needed to be dealt with. I had no idea how to approach it in a way that encouraged instead of discouraged. Dealing with that had kept my mind swimming for days already.

I have focus problems...when things get too big for me to carry in my mind-nothing else gets any of my mental attention. I can't read my Bible and get anything out of it, and I can't pray except in bursts. That frustrates me greatly because I know that is exactly what I need more than anything else, but my OCD gets in my way and keeps me focused in the wrong direction. I have been pretty deaf Spiritually this past week or so, and it shows! My attitude is negative. I am frustrated with everything. I feel powerless and want to do absolutely nothing but crawl into bed.

And to think...just a few weeks ago I was talking to my husband about how God was working "balance" in my life. The very thing I have been struggling with and covet above all else...to achieve balance...where God is first (always), Steve is next (always) and everything else somewhere below that...nope...I haven't arrived yet. This week my circumstances and the demands of my life took center stage and everything else took a number...back up again, Tina, start over.