Every Life Counts, Every moment matters

My heart was so heavy yesterday-gets that way at the end of the year. It was Jon's birthday which meant a lot of busyness....after days and days and days of busyness...I was beginning to hit bottom. I needed to stop and pray-God was calling my heart to pray-but although I was praying without ceasing, I didn't heed the call to stop my day and get completely alone with God. I felt that nag all day and the weight increased. By the time Jon got here, 7ish, I was pretty whopped!

But, let me tell you about Jon. Jon has been a member of our church about a year now. He sits right behind us. When I first met him, he held my hand a little longer than I was comfortable with and made eye contact which I am not strong with either. He is very personable, very outspoken, very touchy feely. He definitely challenged my comfort zone. He is a single airmen with no ties to our area, just tried our church and stayed. It is such a rare thing to find a guy his age with his level of faithfulness. He wasn't chasing or scoping out the girl possibilities, really spent his time there with older women. He would sit with our widows-so he got my attention. I started praying for him. When he would miss, I would pray, and then harass him when he got back. This Christmas we invited him over to spend the day with us, and he did. I knew he would fit but wasn't sure if I would find something in him that concerned me, and I didn't. I have been trying to get Kat to talk to him for a year now, but she wouldn't. That day she did.

Katherine has been on this roller coaster for about two years now. She has hungered for a guy that would love her and be faithful to her. It has been an emotional ride for all of us. Joe started this train and the abandonment we felt when he left created this huge void. I kept praying for him, asking God to direct his heart back. He stopped in yesterday and talked to us for awhile. For the very first time in two years, I knew God was working in him, but it was too late for him to come back to us, he wasn't the one for her, and I was thankful she wasn't with him. I stopped by the dorm and prayed for all these guys that have crossed our path, as I do when I am on the base. I spent the time I had with Kat yesterday talking to her about Jon, what she felt, where she was at, and encouraging her to continually seek God in this new relationship.

I never completely comprehend what God is doing or how...I just know He is. I looked back at my journal over the past few years and found a prayer I prayed in Dec. 2006. I asked God for a faithful man for my daughter....a man who would be faithful to God first and then to her. This man, two years later, could be that man. He fits. He is comfortable with us. He is faithful.

So...he needed a potato head. We of course provided him with one. Kat put it together the night before, but he had to add his own touches. He reconfigured his potato and played with it! (Really). Wow, we laughed. His potato has taken its place among our spud family...let me introduce you...

left to right: Katherine (cowgirl hat) , Jon (elephant nose), Shawna (birthday hat), Alex (corn cousin with green ball cap), our resident fireman (came from Shawna), and Steve and I!

As another year closes and I look back over the year, I stand in complete awe of who God is-who He has brought into our lives, relationships He has restored and renewed, and every life that has changed ours and ours theirs. No one that comes through does so without leaving a mark. I pray that the mark we leave will be one of grace, one of love, one that points to Christ. Jon is already changing our lives. We have laughed and laughed with him. Every life counts...every moment matters....not all are forever, some are just for that moment, but I pray Jon is here to stay. I would like to gain a son that has the qualities Jon has.

Spud Buds

Seriously....on the left is Pirate Steve, and I am on the right-in a state of evolution (the missing link!). LOL...wow....and here is how it happened. Mr. Potato Head has certainly made a comeback. I LOVE it! I had already gotten a small set with accessories for Kat and Todd, but wanted a big one for me. We are browsing through Big Lots the week of Christmas, just because I hadn't been in there this season and wanted to look around. I was really done with Christmas, but was on the prowl for Three Kings Gifts...and there it was..Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head complete with three different accessory sets, a pirate, birthday, and scavenger hunt set. I gasped and my mouth dropped open! My dear hubbie bought it for me. After a few more stops, we headed home...he to put together a laptop table (way cool by the way), and me to assemble Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head. There ya have it...they have now taken their places side by side on a ledge in my living room.They aren't alone though-beside them is Alex (he is a corn cousin), Kat who is a fashionable carrot, and Shawna-a very classy spud!

Life should be lived and enjoyed! We had so much fun assembling our spuds. My brother did an office spud (for Todd) while I put together the fashion queen, and Alex his spud bud..then we were off to the full size Mr. and Mrs...took on a whole new meaning of "family and friends!"

How Do You Spell AWESOME?

G-O-D!

And HE IS just that-AWESOME! Wed. night I discovered that the other two ladies who go to the jail on Thursdays weren't going to be able to go. The one, our fearless leader, was sick-she was supposed to be going and teaching this week. Hmmm....what to do, what to do, what to do....ran through my head and bounced up in a prayer. I wasn't prepared to teach...actually had a lengthy to do list that morning...and I hadn't gone by myself over there yet. On the way home from services, I weighed my options, pros and cons, debated with myself...a day off would be nice...hadn't planned on teaching and didn't have a lesson...but then...last service before the holiday, the ladies have been so faithful in their Bible studies and if they didn't get them turned in, it would be three weeks before they could get another one...hmmm...back to what to do?????

Went to bed with no idea, got up with a prayer, "Lord, I need a lesson if I am going to go, and I have no idea." I was back to considering Mephibosheth again, but picked up my Experiencing God workbook and started thumbing through it. I landed on the how does God speak section and started looking up the Scriptures and cross referencing. God impressed my heart, and I went with it. It took me a couple of hours to compile it, get it typed and such. Last week I had taught on how our heart determines our attitudes and actions, and that we need to get to the root of our belief system and determine what we believe and why. It was an incredible lesson for ladies who are trapped in this destructive lifestyle. Learing to hear God speak and know that He wasn't going to lead contrary to His Word was a logical step. These ladies have submitted themselves to everything but God-that is how they got to the end of their ropes!

I was still a little apprehensive, but got dressed, went to the church to gather materials, and headed out to the maximum security facility. I got there right on time, went in, visited and started the lesson. There are two pods; we go into each one for an hour. Inside of the pod is a meeting room where we meet. We take in tracts, literature, Bibles, a correspondence Bible course, and teach a lesson. Turns out...I was the only one to show up. The other team that comes in didn't come. The ladies thanked and thanked me for coming. The correspondence course keeps multiplying-many have been faithful for over a month now! God showed up-the ladies joined in the discussion, shared their hearts, interacted and received Spiritual truths! One testified about how she was struggling with homosexuality. She needed confirmation that it wasn't God directing her that way. I got to deal with Jesus being our mediator, tearing down the veil of partition between us and God. I got to share with them how much God loves us and how good His plans are for us-if we would just listen and obey. Wow, wow, wow....there is absolutely NOTHING like ministering where God has planted you!

I finished, said my goodbyes, and got in my jeep. The song on the radio was a 33 Miles song, One Life...you only get one life to find out the one thing you don't want to miss...one life to love...I sang and praised God for this one life to make a difference! Oh yea-forgot the punch line....I have had these young military guys on my heart for some time...all year really...since I met Chris back in January. I pray for them all the time-stop by the dorm and pray over them, asking God to bring them to Him. Many are swept away by this new life, new Independence, money and prestige that attracts girls to them. They get caught up in pornography, alcohol and whatever else....and I know many of them have moms and dads missing them and praying the same things I pray for my kids. Anyway...sometimes I think all is lost, but then God opens a door again. Yesterday, He did just that. Taylor had been popping in a bit, so we still have opportunity with him. Chris showed up yesterday at the house-first time he has been here in 6 months. Yippee....encouraged him to come back to Shady Grove. We are inviting a bunch of them over for Christmas. Don't know who will show and who we will get to minister to, but a door is open, and I know God loves these guys and wants to work in their lives!

And...I am awed...that He chooses to use me at all!

Where the Heart Is

I woke up yesterday trying to figure out how to get done what needed to be done in a day! The Christmas season adds a rush to our already bursting schedule, a good rush, a sweetness, and at times, a calmness. We started our season out (so to speak) with a Casting Crowns Christmas concert. That was lots of fun and powerful.

We hadn't decided if we were doing a tree because the house is still in shambles. I didn't want to add to the chaos. In the end, we did decide in favor of the tree. Last Friday, my chaos meter pegged out, and I had a melt down. Steve and I spent the day cleaning, organizing, sorting in the dining room and living room. Then we put the tree up. Doreen wrapped presents for me...I have been collecting gifts for the family, but hadn't had time to wrap any of them! Alex spent Friday night with us; he helped wrap too! We finished out the night with a movie, The Ultimate Gift.

I am trying to keep focused on the greatest need-not material gifts, but salvation. It had been a few months since I talked to Alex about salvation. He had gotten in trouble Friday afternoon which opened a door for me to talk to him about "what we do." He told me back in August that he thought we got to heaven on works. His "works" had been getting him in trouble lately, so we discussed how to really get to heaven. He has come to a head knowledge of what salvation is and has changed his mind about the works idea! We had an awesome talk, no salvation yet, but doors are being opened.

I had to work Saturday and Alex's dad was coming through. Alex was so excited to see his dad; he was jumping around! :) We had a nice visit with the family-considering we are in a construction zone! (I am so getting over having people here under these conditions!). We were looking forward to seeing Chance. He has grown so much! The time was short, but glad for all of it! After Alex's other side of the family left for Florida, Doreen and I went to the store to get ribbon for the tree. We had so much fun picking that out and then later decorating the tree.

I have been doing a theme tree for a few years now, but this year thought that our families should do a combined tree. Doreen loved it and brought over the ornaments they wanted to put up. My brother, Doreen, Steve, and I all decorated it together. The tree took on an entirely different character and the atmosphere was so much sweeter because of our combined efforts! When we finished, we sat back and took it all in.

Sunday, we spent helping Toni clear stuff out and get ready for the movers on Monday. In between all that we went to church....Sunday night our pastor preached an awesome salvation message. He confirmed everything I had just talked to Alex about. Earlier in the week, my brother and I were talking about our family and their need for salvation. Our pastor hit on all of that too. I had to go pray. As I was kneeling down at the altar, my brother touched my shoulder. I prayed then scooted next to him. We prayed together for the salvation of our family members! I could not begin to express how precious that is to me-to not be the only one in the family praying for the rest of our family! After services, we came back to the house to have sub sandwiches and head to the boardwalk to take pictures. We had a really good time doing that.

On Thursdays, most Thursdays, I go to the prison ministry. This past week was my turn to teach again. I thought I was going to teach one thing, changed my mind, changed my mind again, woke up that day and changed my mind again! REALLY....ended up on what is in our heart determines our attitudes and actions. That really hit home for me, because what we are is inside-the outside is just a manifestation of that. There is something different about believing something to be true and really believing it in our heart-our heart determines our actions. If it gets to our heart-it comes out! Our ladies in the jail ministry got a good dose of what salvation and Christian living really is this past week and....so did I!

Too Busy

I have been too busy to even organize my thoughts! The past few weeks have been flying by-I can hardly believe that Christmas is two weeks away! Am I done getting ready? Of course not! I have been trying to squeeze in holiday shopping in between working on the house, working, juggling ministries, and....it seems like this is the season for surgery! All week, I have gotten up, did some house chores, had coffee, devotions, worked on painting something, ran to work, ran to the hospital! It sure is hard to get anything else done...I snatch read here and there and clean something up on a "pass by." My brother asked me Monday if I had tried the leather cleaner ion the jeep seats. I said "when?" He said on one of my "pass bys!"

Today, I hope to have the desk done in the office so we can put up the computer. (After we kept knicking it, decided it needed to be polyurethaned) We also need to put up the shelving which will solve some of my organizational chaos and let me clean up the living room and den a bit. That is one of my objectives before attempting to put up a Christmas tree.

We had a nice warm day on Monday, so we got out in the shed and searched for winter clothes and office boxes. We then went to the other side of the shed, organized it again, and covered everything with plastic. Not a moment too soon-the storm hit later that day. It has been storming off and on ever since-today they are talking about snow! Wow...snow!

We had an eventful day last week with my jeep. We were driving to base and my indicator light beeped. I looked up to see what the problem was-tire pressure was dropping rapidly. I tried to make it to the base, but it was not possible. My tire had a slice in it and went completely flat. We pulled over (Kat and I). We made a few calls and got out to survey. We haven't had a flat in the jeep before so we had no idea where the jack was. Kat is crawling under the jeep looking for it when it occurs to me to look in the manual. We discover the jack is mounted under the back seat. We read the instructions and try to get it out! (Homeschooler in us!). We can't budge it, so along comes an airmen. He stops, and Kat explains the situation to him. He (of course) gets the jack out. It is a puzzle just getting it out of the jeep, and then it has to be taken out of the frame it is in. He figures that out and jacks up the jeep. Steve and my brother arrive about that time to finish the job. We said goodbye to the airmen, getting his address (so I could invite him to Christmas dinner), and head on our way.

We actually had three people stop in the short time we were there. It encouraged me greatly to know chivalry is not dead!

That stopped my day dead in its tracks...and I had to regroup. While we were waiting, before the jack incident, we decided to pray. God has been teaching me to pray without ceasing. Every moment of the day is an opportunity to pray. I pray while making the beds, doing the laundry, painting the wall. I pray while driving...and although I am not sure just exactly how at the moment, that is the topic of my prison ministry study tomorrow. Prayer is the one thing that I look back on my life and wonder how different everything would be if I had prayed more, worked less.

Too busy? Yes, I am....but it doesn't have to hinder me from prayer!

Oh...and prayer requests...another sister is coming here in January to stay with my brother, which means my sister and Alex have to come here. We still don't have rooms ready. Mine is ready to paint, but won't have floors yet. Kat is living in the office-her room needs to be sanding and finished floating so it can be primered and painted...will be a bit before she has floors too. Chance will be here this weekend (Alex's brother) and there is some things up in the air about that. A temporary teaching job has opened up in January which I am considering. It is 8th grade math for a middle school, just a sub till my friend comes off maternity leave. Hmm....might be a way to pay for my first term of the masters and it doesn't conflict with that, but it makes for very long days for about two months. HAVE NO IDEA! :) Please pray with us!

Phase I: Complete

Well finally...how many months later??? We have a room finished and are moving stuff into it. This is what we call the office. It is an office/guest bedroom. Alex will be sharing the office space once he moves in, but right now Kat is enjoying sleeping in a room with a door!

We really have completed alot more than that, but none of the other rooms are completely done, most are partially done.

The inspector called yesterday unexpectedly and happened to be in our neck of the woods. He met Steve at the house to check out our progress. We have really been stressing over that-not sure what to expect. The mortgage company told us what we needed to do and have ready...that was our guide. The inspector walked around, asked a few questions, took a few pictures, and said we were good. We should have our phase II funds by next week.

Phase II is the expensive one-lots of contract work on this phase which costs a lot more. We still need to find a roofer, someone to install crawl space fans, and get the electrician to do some wiring. The first thing on this phase is to get the rest of the windows installed, and then the bathrooms....think we are going to find that harder than it looks...small space...but lots of expense in there! :)

Having a finished room has sure spurred us along. There were moments of doubt when I wasn't sure there was any light at the end of this really long tunnel. Trim started going up, doors, hardware...all of that...and we were so encouraged! Steve's dad came in on our way to Florida. Steve gave him a tour. Now...you have to understand that his dad is very resourceful and knows how to do lots of stuff. He thought we had lost our minds doing this work ourselves. I reminded him that we are talking about HIS son...what else could he do! Anyway...my father-in-law complimented Steve-told him he was proud of his workmanship! Yipeee...who needs an inspector to give us the thumbs up! Having "dad's" approval, done rooms, and the first inspection done officially brings phase I to a close and motivates us to keep moving, keep working, there really is a dim light way up the road.

Choices, Choices, Choices

Choices, choices, and more choices. This has certainly been the story of our life for quite some time! Wall colors, paint, trim, flooring, purchasing new vehicles, dealing with family conflicts and issues! I was working on my Sunday School lesson this morning and thinking about choices David made. His sin with Bathsheba affected a multitude of people for many years to come. I am teaching on Absalom today/his life and death as a consequence of the choices David made. How will the choices I am making today affect those I love in the years to follow?

Making the right choice is easier said than done...often it is not a choice between right and wrong but a choice between best and better. Sometimes it is a choice to stay the course, to move in another direction, to hang on or to let go. I am not very good at deciding when to hang on or when to let go. I ALWAYS want to hang on. I equate hanging on with faithfulness which is an important character quality in my life.

I have been browsing ideas for Christmas, balancing working on the house, meditating on what is true and good, investing in others, and trying to keep my mind Christ centered. I find my mind drifts continually from one thing to another like a kite being blown around in a wind storm! I love my life. I love the gifts God has given me. I love my husband and children. I love knowing that He is in control. He is working in lives. I hope, I pray I am making the right choices at this time of my life. I do not want to violate Scripture truths or try to live according to my own wisdom. I need God!

Just One Touch

Yesterday did not go according to plan at all, my plan that is! I thought I was going to have a day of "house" projects, but one of the ladies was sick, and I needed to fill in. I was both excited and stressed. I love being a part of the prison ministry, but there is so much to be done here at the house. I hadn't gotten anything done on Wed., and we are so trying to make inspection right after Thanksgiving. Anyway.....I jumped up when I got the call and got real busy.

We started a correspondence Bible course for these ladies, well, not started really. Someone had mentioned the need, and our church had the resources available-we just had to tap into it. We had no idea what these ladies would do with this stuff, but third week in, we have about 13 faithfully doing their study. We had something like 15 more ask for the first one. The deal is they have to complete the first one to get the second one and so forth. They know this is not just literature we are handing out, but an opportunity for them to do a Bible study on their own. I am continually awed by the entire process, being there with these ladies, making these connections, sharing God's Word with them, and seeing them respond to it!

Ok so that is only part of my day; from there I go right to work at Sylvan. I had thought I would do that and then come home and get some work done, well, nope. I got a text from my friend reminding me that she was speaking at her ladies' monthly meeting and wanted me to come. She had invited me before, and I knew I needed to go, but Thursdays are soooooooooo hard! I toyed with it, weighed my options, knew I was tired, knew I needed to get some work done, knew my sister-in-law was cooking, but also knew my friend is so much more important than all that stuff-I went.

Her part was a testimony time for her to share what God has done in her life. I have known her for years so for me to hear where she is right now was an amazing thing. To see her standing up in front of these ladies talking from her heart, not hiding, not cowering, just sharing, was in itself amazing. I remember when she couldn't look people in the eyes. I know being up there was not easy for her to do. Although hesitant, a bit out of place since I don't go to church there, I was instantly glad I was there with her at that moment. My heart has been so burdened for the prison ministry and what she shared gave me such insight into what these other women are struggling with. Her testimony is not so unlike the story of the woman with an issue of blood for 12 years who just knew if she could but touch the hem of Jesus' garment, she could be healed. My friend had to but take that one step towards Jesus and let Him heal her; it was that first step that hindered her. One step and one touch, just one and we are surrounded by the consuming power of Jesus' healing. She shared what it was like to take that step and the battles she faced in her journey. I am so glad she did.

I thought about the devotion Max Lucado did on Mary, Martha, Lazarus. Lazarus was the trumpet-the one with an awesome testimony. We can't all be trumpets, my friend gets to be. She has a trumpet testimony. I don't. She ended her testimony time with a video clip of Nicole C. Mullen's song "One Touch" and an encouragement to those who plant seeds. We don't always see the fruit of our investment in the lives of others, but it doesn't mean there isn't any. I have to confess I was a bit jealous of those who got to share in that leg of her journey that I missed out on. I really kind of abandoned her, not being sure how to help her. Not the first time I have thrown my hands up in defeat. I felt like my efforts in her life were futile....I have felt like that many times in my life. Her words reminded me that God gives the increase, God does the work in lives, not us. All of these that have my heart, I lift up to Him, I give when He gives me opportunity, I share, I testify, I love-He does the rest...not up to me to bear fruit.

Friend, blow that trumpet....we all need to come to that place where we reach out for that one touch from our Savior!

Watch the video-One Touch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtPZuNab9UY

Happy Birthday To Me

I am really not into birthdays (for myself I mean), but had such a good day yesterday. My husband gave me a precious card first thing in the morning, and then I was off to see one of my dear friends. On the way, I made a few calls, texts, and prayed. My friend and I shared coffee and a coffee cake. She sang to me and gave me a sweet gift. It was a precious time. I left there to run an errand and prayed on the way. At lunch, my daughter gave me a really sweet frame/bulletin board which will be beautiful in our office. She always chooses a card that touches my heart, and I was truly blessed. Next, I ran to work. When I got to work, one of the girls had put a banner up with balloons and made brownies for all of us-too precious!

I received lots of calls, texts, and cards. The day really wasn't about all of that though-it was a peaceful day of prayer. I just couldn't help but pray, praise, and sing along with my whole heart to my God. No offense at those who didn't remember or towards those who only called out of obligation to do so....just quietness and trust in who my God is.

I arrived late to church because I got off late so was a little confused about the point. Wed. night sermons are about living in Canaan land (can never spell that). When he first started that series, the first night, I thought ok-but how do we get there? I certainly want to live like that, but how? Last night that became a little clearer. I kept thinking it was about putting off stuff, living in a Christlike pure way, that whole crucifying the old man, no this or that...and for the most part-that stuff hasn't been too hard for us, but that isn't Canaan land.

The clincher: "I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin." Romans 7:25

It is the battle in the mind that has hindered me. My mind never shuts up. It replays events, evaluates situations, reworks new and better scenarios...I just can't tell you how I wish it would be quiet once in awhile. The plus is-I am very visual so I can learn and memorize things quickly, the negative is-I dwell on things I couldn't change if I wanted to, but I usually want to, and usually try. Yesterday, my focus was on prayer and prayer for these God has put on my heart. I had lots of tear moments as I prayed, but not tears of grief, tears of joy and trust. My heart and mind was God focused yesterday and WHAT a great day I had.

Not Forsaken

My faith struggle is kind of like being on a roller coaster....at really high speed...one of my devotions this morning tells the story of a family's loss of two children to death, one at infancy and one during a high school football game. Last week at the prison ministry, my partner was tying my lesson together (she does that very well) and adding a bit to it with an illustration. She was talking about a death. While I was sitting there, I was thinking of not only my situation, but that of so many others I know. Losing a child in any respect feels an awful lot like the death of that child, except the pain of death is short, the pain of an alienated living child is ongoing day by day. I know parents who have grown children who have fallen into drugs, alcohol abuse, and homosexuality. Just yesterday I learned a little more about one very dear to my heart. I knew he was going down the wrong road, but not sure how far. He is a Christian kid with very precious parents, but has turned to hanging out in bars where he has met his current fiance. He has known her just a few months, she is substantially older than him, has a son from a previous relationship, and he has moved in with her. My heart sunk. I love this kid and have been praying for him and praying for him and praying for him. We have reached out to him over and over-that feels a bit futile right now. All of these that we have tried to reach that appear unreachable-the doors don't look open...and that creates a faith struggle. Where is God in this? Even when I ask that (whether out loud or not), I know He is there. This excerpt from this devotion speaks to just how I have felt....

"Shattered dreams are a part of life. Children die, husbands leave, jobs are lost, cancer tests come back positive, proposals are rejected, teenagers rebel, houses burn, terrorists attack, and the list goes on. Part of the pain is the feeling that God has forgotten us, grown deaf to our cries, or lost our address. Zion cried, "The LORD has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me" (Isaiah 49:14). David lamented, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent" (Psalm 22: 1, 2). Even Jesus called out from the cross, "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46) I have cried, "Where are you, God? How could you do this to me? Have you forgotten all about me?" Then He answers, "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands" (Isaiah 49:15)."

More From the Girlfriends Today's devotion was taken from Sharon's book, Dreams of a Woman-God's Plan for Fulfilling your Dreams.

Getting outside of my world and hearing the hearts of other parents who are also struggling sure puts my life in better perspective. That is twice this week that I have heard someone else's story and understood their pain.

Lord, what can I ask for except for your will and grace? Lord, I am trusting you not only with my children, but with those of my dear friends. I lift up to you the two on my heart right now and their families. Lord, work in their lives and hearts to bring them back to you. I know your truth is in them, and your Word has been hidden in their hearts. Lord, bring that Word to their hearts today and remind them of how much you love them and how much you want an abundant life for them. Show them that they are exchanging your best for them for something of lesser value. Give their parents wisdom in knowing how to relate to them and how to encourage them in you. Remind us that you haven't forsaken us, that you know exactly where our children are and what it is going to take in their lives tho mold them into your image!

What We Are Made Of?

My pastor once said that adversity/trials reveal to ourselves what we are made of...God already knows, but He allows such things in our lives so we can come to the truth about who we are, what we need to change, where we need to grow, and definitely what we need to surrender over to Him! Adversity...know a little about that...it has indeed shown me what I am made of. It has revealed my strenghts and my weaknesses. Not only is my character challenged and brought into the light, so is my family's, and all the others who touch my life. I am getting to see what is real and what isn't. I am getting to see so clearly....a flood...water...life....the cleansing power of water, the healing ministry of the Holy Spirit. God how could I ask for more? How could I ever take for granted the depth of love you have for me such that you would bring into my life exactly what I need at any given moment to prune away that which hinders me from bearing fruit!

I have moments I want to drift back into what I was and hold on to those things I valued...but then I look around, and I remember. I sit with my sister-in-law or my brother, or my husband and we remember how far we have come. I have moments where I am feeling a little self-centered, loneliness or pity will wave over me, thoughts will rear up, and I start slipping into a life lived in the flesh....but then there is God. He draws my thoughts back to Him, and I know once again that He is in charge here and it is not about me, but about His grace being worked out in my life. What was I made of-me....what will I be made of-I hope just Jesus!

God's Protection

Power working-that is what we are up to these days! Our weeks are so full that we have to make up the time on the weekends. The past two weekends, we have gotten so much done on the house....there really may be light at the end of this tunnel!

Steve has been busy putting up trim around windows and doors, adding baseboards, installing doors, and then there is still demo to be done. He decided this weekend he was going to take out this door opening between the kitchen and dining room. He had to move the opening over about 6 inches which required bracing studs and rebuilding a header. All of which he and my brother accomplished with relative ease. It is dramatic what a difference that six inches makes in the space. Everything looks bigger!

Well, why he was in "demo" mode and had assistance....Todd was also here-I had a thought...can we go ahead and take down the Sheetrock between the two rooms? That wall which separates the living room, kitchen, and laundry room had two layers of Sheetrock between a set of fir strips. That really bugged me, because I knew the bottom part had gotten wet, and there was no way to get to the Sheetrock without removing the fir strips. The guys were game, and we got to it....which is where the story gets interesting.

When they got the layer of Sheetrock and fir strips down, they discovered a large molded area in the corner. We would have never known that was there. Bad news, a section of the ceiling has to come out, and we have to clean out some insulation in the attic to do that, but now we know and can fix it. Also behind that wall was some electrical wiring that was taped up. My brother tested it and discovered it was hot. So...floating around inside the wall, unbeknownst to us, was a dangling hot electrical wire! (It went no where, no electrical box, nothing)

Steve and I were discussing all our adventures on this project last night as we were putting up trim around a window....I was observing how much he has learned to do, and how much more I have been able to do than I could have ever imagined I could. As we chatted, we rehearsed all the stuff we have found behind walls...fire hazards...safety hazards...We were in danger every moment of the day and did not even know it. At any moment something in the wiring could have sparked and caught a stud on fire....and....imagination running wild.

Wow...how God has protected us even when we didn't know we needed to be protected. We know God by lots of names, my favorite has always been Jehovah-Jireh. God's provision and faithfulness has carried us through some of our hardest days. Through this experience, we are coming to know Him as our Protector. It really makes me wonder how many times in our lives did God intervene in ways beyond our comprehension to protect us? How many of those inconveniences, how many of those crisis'-car problems, plumbing problems, etc...hold ups in our schedule...were just God?

Hmmm...Praise God!

Coming soon....a finished room. All that is left in our office is the crown molding, painting of trim, and sealing floors. Pictures on their way.

Somewhere in Between

I went up to Centenary College yesterday to take my Praxis I (last test I need to pass before registering for the master's program!). Centenary was originally a Methodist college and still has some of its original religious base, howbeit it is now VERY liberal. They didn't rebuild the college; it has its original structures, which are absolutely beautiful. The building I was in had phrases etched into the floors right before the entry ways. I started out of the first floor which read "In the beginning, God." My second session was scheduled for the third floor, so I trekked up there. The floor there read, "Knock and it shall be opened." That made me wonder what was on the second floor, so I had to go look..."You are here to enrich the earth." Hmmmm.....so somewhere between God the creator, and God the Savior, I have a purpose...Between the beginning and the end...I was created to do something...to enrich the earth??? I am sure they chose those phrases and verses in reference to education; I however, read them another way. Yes, Education does open doors...and Yes, I should make a difference in my world....so I do agree...but not just on that level, on a deeper level...I want to impact my world for eternity. Whatever I achieve here on an educational level is temporal, whatever doors are opened to me here, are just tools to place where God has for me. They are opportunities not for personal advancement, but for something higher, something bigger than me. I am just a vapor in the wind....here today, gone tomorrow....what matters is what I allow Christ to do in me somewhere in between!

Next Book on the Reading List

http://www.maxlucado.net/shopping6.00/shopexd.asp?id=25779

Thinking this is going to be the next book on my reading schedule! I love Max Lucado...he writes on a Biblical topic in such a readable way that you have to stand back and go "ah." The online devotions I get from him have been excerts from this book. It is a book about Biblical personalities, and I am interested!

Hmmm..should finish Jumping Ship, the Lewis Carroll collection, and a new one by Emily Barnes I just picked up-Life Management for Busy Women (yep....that one sounds curious!). I do confess-I read several books at one time...which is probably weird to some, but because they aren't 'novels,' and cover totally different things, it is possible.

I snatch read, a little here and a little there. I am usually reading something classic and something about Christian living at any one time. Sometime during my chaotic day, I try to crawl into my private sanctuary-usually the bathtub, and slide right into another world.

Feels Like Chaos

After making the decision to change blog locations, to start anew, to move on, to change the focus of my mind...as hard as that all is...change is certainly never easy...a Sanctus Real song came on the radio. I keep the radio on Klove, in the vehicles and in the house. Music has kept me focused during all the difficulties of my life these past few months. "Whatever You're Doing" has been running through my mind all day today, as if God was taking time out from running the world to remind His struggling child that He is at work in my life. It feels like chaos, but...I surrender...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06AgY5Xoavw