Strongholds

Our sermon last night was on strongholds in our life, how to build them (so we know when we are doing just that), and how to tear them down. I don't know that I thought of strongholds in the same way-or maybe I just didn't think of so many things becoming strongholds. Obviously addictions made the list, but a few negative attitudes and behaviors did too.

The sermon punctuated an already emotional week for me. The biggest place I have come to in my life since who knows when is right now...a culmination of a year or so of God revealing to me where I am, in my thought life, in my heart. One of the statements our pastor made was how strongholds are built in the dark, and to remove their power, bring them into the light. Share them with someone.

You are probably conjuring up all kinds of things right now...but no, none of that. Mine is coming to the realization of how I place myself in situations where I feel "used" and why I even feel used in the first place. Where did that internal trigger come from? I know now. I know where it started, and understand how it has controlled my life. That is why last week was so significant in my life...for the first time I was able to just say no...not because I did not want to help, but because it was the wrong decision for my family. For the first time I was able to listen and choose to bring my life back into balance, instead of allowing someone or some circumstance control me. That emotion has been a stronghold. Those attitudes and beliefs established way back when I was just a child have been dictating to me my whole life.

Sure is good to start tearing those down. Sure is good to know that my God loves me, always pursues me, and sheds light into my darkest places.