A Heart's Call to Prayer

As I was sitting in the Randy Travis concert listening to the words of the songs by both him and the opening artist, I knew once again that God was calling my heart to prayer. I have mentioned that before, but somehow just can't seem to get to where I need to be going. I KNOW that prayer is the real work of God. It is the avenue by which God works. We want God to do great things; we want to see God's hand; we want to know it is God, but disciplining ourselves to pray is not that easy.

I am not talking about pray over meals, pray for a parking space, send up a prayer for someone who has a need right at that moment, pray while driving....not those kind of prayers. Those prayers are worthy and it is certainly communication with God, and definitely falls under the 'pray without ceasing' category, but that just isn't where my problem lies. I have that down, it is the laboring, wrestling in prayer for God to do mighty things down on my knees when there is no one there but Him and I.

Alot of my problem is "time." Not that I don't have 24 hours a day just like everyone else has, but arranging my life to fit in that prayer time is the challenge. I don't have many moments where something else isn't biding for my time. Weak, I know...because really when I analyze that, I know it is a priority issue. I am allowing something other than God to have my time. I am giving my time to activities, situations, etc...that are nothing but hay and stubble. They are worthless apart from God's plan in my life. Only what He does through me matters.

So...yesterday, Sooner, the cat, broke his leg somehow. He came hobbling in the house right about the time I had to get ready for work. This is only really significant because we were just at the vet last week. We took Carson in the week before that to get a shot and groomed. No issues there. The following week, we took Pedro in for the same thing. First, I thought he was only getting one shot, turns out, it was time for the annuals. Ok...dealt with that, then went to go pick him up, and found out he has heart worms. This is our second bout with heart worms in a year. Carson had them first, resulting in an expensive treatment, and testing of the other dogs who all came back clear. Pedro has been on heartworm preventive, and has had no symptoms. Not that I doubt the vet, because I don't, but it was a blow, and the vet could see we were not happy campers. At first I thought we were going to have to put him down, because putting him through the treatment just wasn't an option. The treatment alone could kill him, and he isn't as young as he used to be. He gave us another option-to switch to Heartguard which over a period of years would kill all the heart worms without killing him. Not a quick fix, but doable. Back to Sooner. Not even one week later, Sooner is now at the vet. He was kennelled over night and getting x-rays today. (Anyone else seeing dollar signs!?) I started wondering, did we pay our tithes, give to missions, miss something somewhere? This is ridiculous, and seriously, we are not made of money over here. (I have been regretting getting back into the animal business when we were down to just Pedro and the fish!)

Then it hit me...I was driving to work praying and wrestling with all of this. My frustration was escalating. WHAT IS THE DEAL? (I practically yelled) Just Sunday night, I told God, whatever it takes Lord, I KNOW you are calling me to be a prayer warrior, and that is the desire of my heart. I want to KNOW God and KNOW God is at work, not me. I want to KNOW that what I am seeing is the fruit of His Hand, not my efforts being played out. I am willing to pay the cost to get to that point in my life.

It was only the cat (and the dog) that He used to get my attention, but it could have been one of my children, or grandson, or Caitlyn. It could have been my husband. It could have been something of such greater value, yet, I needed a gentle reminder. Not one sparrow falls to the ground that God doesn't know about. He cares for each one. No prayer is too small or too big for Him. He just wants me to commit to living my life with Him at the center of it, seeking Him in prayer, and interceding on others' behalf! God...I am listening. Keep my heart tuned in to you!